Vice Principal Biden concedes to baddest kid on the playground

World Politics is looking more and more like an elementary school playground today, as Russia’s attempts at misbehaiving badly have finally gotten the attention of senior U.S. foreign policy makers looking to re-prioritize key issues for the new administration. Russia’s increasingly Nelsonite foreign policy seems to be working, ensuring the most disruptive kid on the playground gets the most attention from the principal.

Vice Presient Joe Biden offers Russia a validating respone: let's cooperate. (Photo Courtesy: Reuters)

Today’s international news cycle kicked-off with a Reuters report echoing Vice President Joe Biden’s message to Russia following weeks of prodding: let’s cooperate.

We’ve posted before here, here, and here, on Russia’s recent hard-balling of positions within central Asia–a region they believe is their rightful sphere of influence, and not the United States’. They’ve been undermining our positions in the region with efficiency and tenacity.

So after weeks of persistently undermining of U.S. security interests in central Asia and Eastern Europe, Russia finally moved up the list of top U.S. foreign policy priorities for the new administration. Following Russia’s persuasion of Kyrgyzstan President Kurmanbek Bakiyev to close a key U.S. base in his country, Russia appears to have answered Biden’s message. Yesterday morning, as an AP Report outlined here, Russia granted the U.S. transit rights to supply U.S. troops in Afghanistan, indicating their reciprocation for finally getting the attention from Washington that every other country in the world is now seeking to re-establish. They’re not alone.

With the Obama administration comes the jockeying for position among the world’s major players, many of whom want to become higher priorities within the U.S.’s new foreign policy scheme. And while many of the world’s national and private sector players are doing this behind the scenes by working diplomatic channels, subtle media advocacy, coalition building, and their own Congressional lobby groups in D.C., others aren’t.

Instead, many other countries without the diplomatic wherewithal are resorting to the tactics frequently used by the bad kids on elementary school playgrounds. And like our childhood antics, what the misbehaving entity sees as posturing, the rest of the international community views as desperate and out of line.

North Korea, for example, appears to have deliberately been witnessed assembling the likes of a missile that, if successfully tested, could hit the west coast. Weeks earlier, Hamas and the Palestinians… well… how do we put this… raised the profile of their issue considerably. That is if you agree with our estimation that they calculatedly–and successfully–decided not to sign a cease fire agreement that triggered a pre-emptive Israeli assault allowing Al Jazeera to print a new picture of a dead Palestinian child on the front page for weeks (no exaggeration, we were checking).

With Russia, the behavior is more pervasive and less symbolic. U.S. plans to develop a missile defense shield in the former Eastern Block top the list of Russia’s opposed projects. In recent weeks they’ve even managed to mobilize European surrogates to oppose this vocally. The Czech Republic’s communist party, who, despite their country’s experience with communism, still garners considerable support from voters has thrown hands in the air over it. Previously, Russia brought Eastern European Energy markets to their knees by cutting supplies of oil to the region from their vast continental pipeline network, having a dramatic impact on both supply and prices. More recently, Russia engineered what will likely be the closure of a key U.S. military supply and refueling base in Kyrgyzstan by offering over them over $2 Billion in aid, and who knows what kind of unofficial carrots and sticks behind the scenes.

We think the sticks probably outweighed the carrots.

As it stands today, Russia appears to be the most visible disruptive actor on the central Asian playground, and as such, is surely the top item of discussion amongst policy folk in D.C., which is exactly what they’ve wanted all along.

By being the baddest kid on the playground, you’re going to be first to see the principal… right Nelson?

Russia's Nelsonite foreign policy... first to see the principal. (Photo Courtesy: Matt Groening)

In doing all this, especially the move to hamper the U.S.’s security efforts in Afghanistan, Russia is signaling that it doesn’t really give a sh*t about terrorism in Afghanistan. After all, Russia and China have pursued a “multi-polarity” strategy which aims to counter-balance and undermine U.S. presence on their continent any way possible. They’re also leaning more rhetorically on the Shanghai Cooperation Organization as the locust of their security and trade efforts. The multi-lateral organization comprises China, Russian, and CIS states respectively, for the purpose of cooperation on regional security and trade, but has produced little in regard to the former. Human rights and free speech, for some reason, haven’t been big priorities either.

In our view, all this Multi-polarity mumbo jumbo is just fancy Russian for Nibyism on a global scale.

Chinese-Russian multi-polarity: Nimbyism on a global scale.

They don’t want the U.S. in their back yard, but they don’t want anyone else there either. In Russia’s view, central Asia should become what it was for all those years under Moscow: a giant cotton field in the mountains where the indigenous folk worked hard, hungry, and scared. No fun or praying allowed.

Tags: AP, Barack Obama, China Russia Multi-polarity, Global Nimbyism, Joe Biden, Kurmanbek Bakiyev, Manas Airfield, Playground Politics, Reuters, Shanghai Cooperation Organization, US-Rusian relations